If you’re between the ages of 20-35, you’re most likely going to a LOT of weddings. Weekend after weekend, friend after friend, dollar after dollar. It can be a lot!
Eventually, the weddings stop — at least until the divorces kick in and your friends start remarrying — but until then, you get a break! And as an official 35+-year-old (that’s me below), I can’t tell you how happy I am to be enjoying the peace!
The main reason I’m happy for the peace? Weddings have always been a little weird/infuriating, but they’re only getting weirder/more infuriating! Here’s what I mean:
1.
First, invitations used to be simple and predictable, but now, they come with stuff like this:
May I just say — using terms these people would appreciate — what the fuck is this shit?!
2.
People are now even sending out cards telling you you’re NOT invited to their wedding! But, of course, asking you to send money as a gift. The audacity!
3.
It’s like people getting married nowadays expect everyone to finance the event for them — these people even charged their guests for eating a slice of wedding cake!
4.
I’m sorry — but if us guests are expected to subsidize the affair, the least the groom can do is change out of his cargo shorts and T-shirt!
I don’t know what’s got me going hmmm more…the socks or the Crocs!
5.
Seriously? Your wife looks this amazing, and you wore this?
6.
Honestly, it seems like no one knows how to dress for a wedding anymore! ‘Cause this isn’t the bride…
10.
This father of the bride, meanwhile, wore a sharp suit…but also this hat:
11.
And this couple literally had Trump on their wedding cake:
12.
While on the subject of cakes…what is with the trend where cake toppers show the grooms all miserable, trying to escape, or in this case, wishing they were playing Call of Duty?
13.
Seriously, what’s with all the disrespect toward brides? At this wedding — after the groom was asked if he would take her to be his bride — he had to “consult” with his groomsmen. 🙄
14.
Brides deserve to feel like a queen on their day, that’s what I say. But I also say some of these over-the-top and entitled brides make my blood boil.
The text — sigh — for context:
15.
Weddings are just unnecessarily exhausting these days. Like…ranking friends on the program? I can’t!
16.
WHERE exactly am I sitting?!
17.
I mean it — exhausting! The tables at this reception have serial killer center pieces. GTFOH!
18.
Now, what about the food, you ask? Well, feast your eyes:
19.
Let’s see, what else? I guess people are crapping on the floor at weddings now, too, so yeah, I’m pretty glad I don’t have to go to a lot of them these days!
Weddings, gotta love ’em!
