Some of these are pretty bang on.
If you don’t live in Australia or have never visited our hallowed oasis, you might have surmised what goes on here from an episode of The Simpsons or, god forbid, Crocodile Dundee.
“I think that all the Australians secretly get together weekly to invent new words that they can then litter into conversation with foreigners. Gaytime? Zooper Dooper? Gobbies? It’s a never-ending April Fools joke!”
“I have heard that your toilet water flushes the opposite way from the rest of us, but I am awaiting confirmation. Sadly Sarah from NSW went to check for me in 2010 and never returned.”
“I heard they have huge spiders that live by the toilets to kill and eat other bugs and more dangerous spiders. I saw a few Tiktoks saying that, but I can’t find out if it’s true or not.”
“Meat tray raffles at bars. I’m pretty sure you buy a ticket to win a literal tray of meat.”
“Everyone stops, stands up, shuts up and takes off their hats when ‘Men At Work’ plays on the radio.”
“Beautiful world class cities, beautiful nature, kickass weather, better healthcare system than America. I could deal with the melanoma and the spiders.”
“I think that you spend years grooming your feet into Hobbit-like hooves, which would explain why you’re always walking barefoot everywhere.”
“That the residents are all super outdoorsy and encounter potentially deadly wildlife on a daily basis. RIP Steve Irwin.”
“Some kind of insane bug/cane toad war happened and I don’t remember all the details, but I’m pretty sure the toads won.”
“The Australian parliament is filled with two separate parties, the Koalas and the Kangaroos.”
“I think Godzilla once showed up, but some guy went up to it and said ‘Oi, fuck off you massive lizard cunt.'”
“Animal Planet has me believe that you will always wake up to find a scorpion hiding in your shoe.”
“Despite all the weird slang, the Australian accent is really sexy and I think the people would always be outgoing and friendly.”
And finally, “That the land that is constantly trying to kill you. Seriously, like seven of the top 10 most venomous snakes live in your country. You have crocodiles and sharks. Don’t even get me started on your spider situation.”
As to which are true and which are false? Well, I’m afraid the law of the people forbids me from revealing what really goes on south of the equator.
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