They fly…dark in the day, stealthy in flight.
Like the rest of the world, Australia welcomes spring with open arms. However, September 1 is also shrouded in fear — because it’s the day that “Swooping Season” begins.
“Swooping Season”, in case you don’t know what it is, refers to when magpies in your local area start swooping pedestrians, to protect their nests and babies.
Getty Images
Plus, this year is set to be worse than ever before. Magpies can remember “friendly faces” and normally won’t swoop locals. But because everyone’s been wearing masks, it’s going to be a swooping-galore, (obviously, this is still not an excuse to leave your mask at home).
And, it can get bloody vicious! Don’t believe me? Check out these tweets about the dreaded “swooping season”.
1.
This one, that’s driving home the shitshow that is 2020.
Apparently magpies can recognise up to 100 faces in their local area. So face masks are going to confuse them. Which means they’ll be on a bombing rampage this breeding season. Did we all have that one marked down for 2020?
2.
This one, that teaches our overseas friends about the true dangers of Oz.
Hi Americans. We have spiders, snakes, stonefish, eagles twice the size of yours, crocodiles, sharks and even jellyfish that will kill you. The magpie will reach under your helmet and eat your brain as you ride. (Rear facing helmet cam by Monique Newton )
3.
And this one, that’s taken the piss…but it’s also kind of true?
Everyone in other countries think that Australia is so scary because we have giant spiders, snakes and sharks… but they forget our most violent… The Magpie.
4.
This one, that talks about the rite of passage that is a magpie-swoop.
If a magpie comes at you and clacks behind your head but doesn’t bite — then lands and charges at you — is it still considered “swooping”? If so, I’ve finally been knighted by one of Australia’s monochromatic bird-kings
5.
This one, that’s turning the season into an Edgar Allen Poe poetry fest.
shout out to all the Australians currently entering Spring, aka MAGPIE SWOOPING SEASON, the time when we cannot leave our houses without being dive bombed by a beaky knife from the sky whose only intent is blood, war and famine to all humans who dare breathe outdoor air.
6.
And this one, that pokes fun at our protection measures.
the rest of the world: omg australia is so scary with all those snakes and spiders!!
australians: [strapping a bucket covered in spikes to our heads and glancing wearily into the distance] it’s the birds
7.
Plus, this one, that’s a visual representation in case you need it.
8.
This one, about the all important battle preparations.
Magpie loudly sharpening its bill on the fence and eyeballing us before swooping under the carport and having a crack at the kids. I still love them but 😱😱😱😬😬😬
9.
This one, that’s posing a serious question.
Now it’s swooping season I look forward to all the people saying “just get to know the magpie and he’ll stop swooping you.”
Do I buy him a beer? Or what?
10.
This one, that’s honestly right on the money.
11.
This one, that clearly outlines Australia’s priorities.
@PaperFury i can’t believe that there’s a government website about being safe during magpie swooping season 😭😭😭😭
i know this is serious but i’m laughing at the fact that magpies will remember you for years if you are a threat HAHAHAHA 😭😭😭😭😭
12.
This one, from a poor tourist who just wants to know what’s going on.
it’s officially the season of magpie swooping and the locals are genuinely advising me to wear a helmet outside. someone remind me why i came to this whack country
13.
This one, that’s about the 2020 evolvement of the magpie.
Of course, it’s #2020 magpie swooping season, so a fucking pigeon takes off and flies into me instead.
14.
This one, that poses an accurate comparison.
15.
This one, about how we raise our children in Oz.
If this wasn’t your childhood growing up, then you weren’t raised in Australia 😂🇦🇺.
We call these bad boys a “magpie” and they try to peck your eye out from behind 😈
16.
And this one, that shows how important our childhood education is.
What do you mean I grew up somewhere that is dangerous? #snakes #magpies #wildlife #Sydney #Australia
17.
This one, that’s a horror movie coming to a cinema near you.
Can almost smell the jasmine…
And have seen some flashes of black and white in the sky – but not yet heard the beak snap near my ear.
It’s coming soon to a random stretch of road near you.
It’s almost That Time of the year.#Sydney
#magpies
#beware
18.
This one, that is just a lovely warm welcome.
19.
This one, from an upcoming guest who, honestly, has all the right information.
I leave for Australia in 3 days and I am so unprepared. All I know is I’m definitely going to get swooped by a magpie.
20.
This one, that explains why we enviously look at other country’s springtimes.
In most places in the world spring is a cherished season where plants and trees bloom, the weather warms up and people start to enjoy outdoor life again.
Meanwhile in Sydney we live in constant fear of magpies swooping
21.
And this one, which is just what we’re all feeling.
BuzzFeed Daily
Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!
